Rated RKO asked: Does this seem like a good edition of raw?
RAW begins with a video segment of Randy Orton attacking John Cena’s father Johnny Fabulous. The crowd is perfect, cheer when they should and boo when they should.
RAW opening match is the Intercontinental title match: Jeff Hardy v. Umaga. Umaga is on the top turnbuckle, Jeff hits him and he straddles the rope. Jeff gets the pin off of that and wins the title. See ya Umaga - suspended. - SUSPENDED.
They are showing Triple H and Carlito as upcoming tonight, not sure if its a match or the Cabana. They are also advertising “the McMahon family confrontation.”
Vince tells Coach that his family can’t hurt him because he has a better OFFENSE. Carlito comes in with his hair cut! Vince tells him that his match against Triple H will be a handicap match in which he will tag with Umaga.
William Regal is looking for John Cena and Melina comes up and tells him about “her night with Vince”. Melina turns around and Stephanie is glaring at her. She turns the other way and Linda slaps her across the face. Ron Simmons shows up and gives Melina the DAMN.
Santino and Maria come out to the ring. Santino insults the fans then talks crap to Ron Simmons. The Sandman’s music hits…Santino tells Sandman that he’s jealous because he makes love to Maria and Santdman makes love to his “stick”. Sandman cracks Santino with the kendo stick then beats him all the way up the ramp with it. See ya Santino - suspended.
Maria waits in the ring for her opponent. Beth Phoenix comes down and beats her in a minute with the Fisherman’s suplex. Beth gets a mic and tells Candice that she’s cashing in her title shot am Unforgiven. She then gives Maria another suplex and Candice runs out for the save. After a stare down Beth walks out of the ring and up the ramp.
They show close ups of John Cena’s dad’s bruised face.
Yay, it’s Grisham with the dumb sign crap…
William Regal comes to the ring and says that Randy Orton was told last week to show Vince McMahon that he deserved the title shot and unfortunately for the Cena family, he did just that. They showed a video package of the attack. Regal says that he gave Orton the night off, but he’s here via satellite. He says that what happened was Cena’s fault because he denied him a rematch. Regal announces that he gets the rematch at Unforgiven.
Orton says that he hopes that Cena’s dad never forgives Cena for it. Cena walks out with no music or video and Regal says that he’s just doing his job. Cena attacks Regal and beats him out of the ring and across the announce table. STFU on the floor broken up by the refs running from the back.
Lance Cade and Murdoch come to the ring and sit at the announce table. World’s Greatest Tag Team v. London and Kendrick to determine the title contenders for Unforgiven. Note that Cade and Murdoch don’t have their hats, so maybe some explanation is being made for Cryme Tyme being gone. Sliced Bread #2 and Kendrick gets the 3 count on Haas. Cade and Murdoch get in the ring with London & Kendrick and applaud them and shake their hands. Wow, this looks familiar… PS…See ya Haas - SUSPENDED.
Regal is getting checked by paramedics. Shane McMahon walks by, looks at him and keeps walking.
They aired a really good CM Punk video package. In the segment he says his line “I don’t smoke, I don’t do drugs, my high is wrestling.”
They show Umaga and Carlito in the locker room. Carlito says that Triple H was laughing at Umaga for losing the title.
Vince and Coach have financial advisors and they are talking about Vince’s money and how the family can’t touch him. He then asks Coach how Regal is doing. Coach says “pretty beat up” and Vince replies with “well Coach, I guess its time for you to step up again.” Once again, See ya Regal, SUSPENDED.
Vince confirms with his lawyers that his family can’t get at his accounts. He tells Coach that he will take over for Regal as Commissioner. Vince fires a lawyer for suggesting that he settle with the mother of his son, as that is a “defensive strategy”. He tells the other two that he’s out for blood.
Jillian Hall and Daivari come out. Jillian talks crap to Lillian Garcia. She says that she had her wisdom teeth removed, but she and Daivari sing and dance anyway. Cody Rhodes (in black trunks!) and Mickie James interrupt and the match starts. Daivari singing in Farsi was kind of funny in a weird way…Cody pins Daivari after a nice DDT.
Melina comes to the ring in a little black lace dress. Kiss cam segment.
They aired a replay of Carlito’s Cabana segment with Triple H and Vince.
Triple H comes out for the handicap match to biggest pop of the night. Carlito comes out then Umaga. Umaga is disqualified for entering the ring without tagging and double teaming HHH. The beat down continues. Umaga hits a big splash from the top rope. Carlito holds a chair in front of HHH in the corner, but he moves and Umaga rams into it. Triple H beats Carlito with the chair to the outside then gives Umaga multiple chair shots to the head, as he won’t go down. Umaga finally goes to one knee and Triple H gets the sledgehammer and gives Umaga a few shots. Carlito retreats up the ramp and Umaga is rolled away on a stretcher. I can’t help but speculate! AKA, One again see ya Umaga, SUSPENDED.
Off air, they carry Umaga out on a stretcher and change the pad on the mat from all of the blood.
They aired a video package about going back to Iraq this year.
Vince, Coach and the two attorneys come to the ring. Vince says that the family is here for one thing… “the MONEY!” Linda comes to the ring and says that she has plenty of her own money and doesn’t need his. But, she can take him for everything due to the illegitimate son thing. Vince says that he had many lonely nights on the road and his kids would understand.
Enter Stephanie.
Vince shows a video that he made of the life of daddy’s girl. They play a video of Vince beating down Steph instead. Vince is angry. HHH on video says he didn’t play it. Steph says Vince needs help and should step down as Chairman.
Enter MY SON, SHANE!
Shane says there are two Vinces, the good and the bad. He says that Vince needs help, but he has to change himself. Vince says that none of the affairs happened and he lied to build his own ego and only cheated once. With the mother of his son. He kneels to his family and vows to be better.
Kennedy comes to the ring. Ken points out the last name thing and the Green Bay location as where Vince plans to reveal the mystery. He says that he is Vince’s son. Steph says that he’s not Vince’s son. Ken says that Vince’s lunacy inspired him and that unlike his family, he won’t judge Vince. Ken does his Kennedy thing on the mic and adds MCMAHON to it!
Then, a representative for the suing mother comes out and says that Ken is not Vince’s son but he can’t reveal who is until next week. The horrible actor then says that he can give a clue, “Things are looking up”.
Carson
